There’s a myth that says “that to get what you want ,you have to kick
ass”. But that”s not true. There are people who defy that law- who seem
to have the perfect job,incredible relationship, and always get their
way and also you just can’t help liking them. The truth is that they
asked for what they wanted nicely…
Get your own way every time and still be a “nice person”..Want to get
that refund?,Demand a promotion?,or make your partner wash up without
turning into “The Bitch From Hell”.? Here’s how
Its all about communication, .you have to work at it and one of the easiest ways to that is to- Tap into the time lag- the Quarter of a second between wanting to respond and actually responding. It begins before you’ve even opened your mouth. Know your outcome and visualize getting what you..Do not allow past encounters to influence you, especially if you have not gotten your way in the past, Its vital that you don’t see yourself through those eyes from now on,. Remember- what you focus on, you get.” There are Five areas of life where getting your what you want is important., find out where you need to work on.
1- CHARM YOUR FRIENDS- If you are not communicating your opinions, that’s the problem. “remember the quarter-second rule and think before you speak. Use positive language – ie-“i would love you to come to my house for a change”, Rather than ” why do we have to go to yours”.. speak slowly and keep your voice low. Do not let yourself believe they think you are a bad friend because of it. They could end up having fun…
2- FLATTER YOUR FAMILY- For the art of harmonious family negotiation, try a little “emotional dance”. Let them talk and lead you into their world first,before you gently pull them into yours. Get them to talk about happy times, it generates positive emotions.Then present your request. E-G- if you want to skip the family dinner and do something else, suggest having a do the next weekend. You could even promise something in return – like staying the whole weekend or making dinner. Either ways, make sure you follow up on this. But, do not let it be a habit.
3- ASSERT YOURSELF OVER SHOP ASSISTANTS- Remember the quarter-second rule,and speak in a low but audible voice. If that does not work, try the broken record approach -keep repeating yourself, they will eventually hear you. You might not know this- but many people need to hear things more than once and there's also a myth that says 'a squeaky wheel,gets more grease". If you are feeling angry before you go in, take a deep breath and ask yourself “is my face and voice going to get me what i want?”. If you are dealing with a return, start with -“i often come into this store because i know you’re going to look after me”. Use assumptive and positive language.
4- BUTTER-UP YOUR BOSS -Timing is everything. You know when your boss is likely to be relaxed and use this to your advantage. Once you have an audience ,get your boss into the “YES” way of thinking by starting with a few yes questions such as – ‘you know the quality of my work is good”, or ‘you know I’ve been here for….’. Say “i know you are a fair person and you will take it the right way and treat it accordingly. Then make your request non- threateningly, with a smile and open body language. Your position and all, in the office wont suffer as long as you deserve what you have asked. Try and see yourself through your boss’s eyes. Their basic concern will be how much management time you will save. Also make life easier by using your initiative and doing your job so well that you both look good.
5- MANAGE YOUR MAN- You don’t have to go on domestic strike to make him see your point of view,. You don’t have to end up shouting at him when you want him to change his behavior . The conversation will start with ‘i would like to be a better girlfriend/partner.He won’t disagree.You can ask him if a wants a bimbo-yes woman or someone he can be proud.He may joke that he wants the bimbo ,but you both know te truth.If he’s not joking, you also know the answer to that too. Tell him that you need his help.,which appeals to his sense of significance. Make sure he’s in a good mood before making any requests.
Its all about communication, .you have to work at it and one of the easiest ways to that is to- Tap into the time lag- the Quarter of a second between wanting to respond and actually responding. It begins before you’ve even opened your mouth. Know your outcome and visualize getting what you..Do not allow past encounters to influence you, especially if you have not gotten your way in the past, Its vital that you don’t see yourself through those eyes from now on,. Remember- what you focus on, you get.” There are Five areas of life where getting your what you want is important., find out where you need to work on.
1- CHARM YOUR FRIENDS- If you are not communicating your opinions, that’s the problem. “remember the quarter-second rule and think before you speak. Use positive language – ie-“i would love you to come to my house for a change”, Rather than ” why do we have to go to yours”.. speak slowly and keep your voice low. Do not let yourself believe they think you are a bad friend because of it. They could end up having fun…
2- FLATTER YOUR FAMILY- For the art of harmonious family negotiation, try a little “emotional dance”. Let them talk and lead you into their world first,before you gently pull them into yours. Get them to talk about happy times, it generates positive emotions.Then present your request. E-G- if you want to skip the family dinner and do something else, suggest having a do the next weekend. You could even promise something in return – like staying the whole weekend or making dinner. Either ways, make sure you follow up on this. But, do not let it be a habit.
3- ASSERT YOURSELF OVER SHOP ASSISTANTS- Remember the quarter-second rule,and speak in a low but audible voice. If that does not work, try the broken record approach -keep repeating yourself, they will eventually hear you. You might not know this- but many people need to hear things more than once and there's also a myth that says 'a squeaky wheel,gets more grease". If you are feeling angry before you go in, take a deep breath and ask yourself “is my face and voice going to get me what i want?”. If you are dealing with a return, start with -“i often come into this store because i know you’re going to look after me”. Use assumptive and positive language.
4- BUTTER-UP YOUR BOSS -Timing is everything. You know when your boss is likely to be relaxed and use this to your advantage. Once you have an audience ,get your boss into the “YES” way of thinking by starting with a few yes questions such as – ‘you know the quality of my work is good”, or ‘you know I’ve been here for….’. Say “i know you are a fair person and you will take it the right way and treat it accordingly. Then make your request non- threateningly, with a smile and open body language. Your position and all, in the office wont suffer as long as you deserve what you have asked. Try and see yourself through your boss’s eyes. Their basic concern will be how much management time you will save. Also make life easier by using your initiative and doing your job so well that you both look good.
5- MANAGE YOUR MAN- You don’t have to go on domestic strike to make him see your point of view,. You don’t have to end up shouting at him when you want him to change his behavior . The conversation will start with ‘i would like to be a better girlfriend/partner.He won’t disagree.You can ask him if a wants a bimbo-yes woman or someone he can be proud.He may joke that he wants the bimbo ,but you both know te truth.If he’s not joking, you also know the answer to that too. Tell him that you need his help.,which appeals to his sense of significance. Make sure he’s in a good mood before making any requests.